Friday, November 19, 2010

Love and Marriage (and God, apparently)

As anyone has read my previous post about Alex Stewart (the guy who smoked the Bible and Koran) knows, I don't have a lot of time for a certain kind of atheist. Specifically, the narrow-minded ones who are more antitheist than atheist, who are full of all the hate they deride organised religion for. But we've been through all this.

This morning I was reading the paper and came across severals letter regarding same-sex marriage. What made me mad was this one guy who, wondering why the government should have any say in who marries who, said: "For us atheists, the whole thing is a moot point: we don't get married." The ignorance and stupidity of this statement is dumbfounding.


Once again, we've got someone with that crucial misunderstanding of what being an atheist means. Put simply, no two are the same, no two came to their atheism in the same way, and most importantly, there is no such thing as 'us atheists' because it is not a single unified creed but an individualised world view.

But I guess the real kicker for me was the idea that atheists don't married. This bloke's reasoning was because it's a religious ceremony. Maybe in earlier times, yes, that's all it was. Hell, there have been times when it was little more than a business transaction. There are still places where the latter happens.

However, modern marriage is about love, not God or dowries. The idea that you have to believe in God to get married is ridiculous, and I feel sorry for the guy because he obviously believes on some level that without religion, you can't really have a connection deep enough for marriage. Doesn't the fact that there is a strong movement towards legalising same-sex marriage in this countrry (a movement which I wholeheartedly support, I should add) show that rather than being symbolic of God uniting a man and a woman, it's actually one of the purest forms of expressing lifelong fidelity to another person, regardless of their sex? It's about stepping up and saying that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and bind your fate to theirs.

This is not to say that when two people love and are committed to one another, it is a foregone conclusion that they should marry. Of course this is not the case. Love takes many forms, and I believe many long-term de facto couples simply find a ceremony unnecessary in the light of all their years together. And if a gay or lesbian couple want to marry, they should be able to. Their connection to one another is no less meaningful and life-affirming than a heterosexual couple's, and the sooner that is recognised legally, the better.

As for atheists getting married, the drop in the number of church weddings and the rise in the use of celebrants shows that people everywhere who don't regard organised religion as important to their relationship are marrying without God or his priests looking on. Frankly, when the right person comes along, I can't see that I'll find any conflict between my atheism and my affection for the man in question. I'll love him, he'll love me, and I don't see how the fact that marriage is historically a religious ceremony is any impediment to that hypothetical wedding. It's not like God's going to stand up at the 'or forever hold your peace' bit and complain that we didn't include him!

So, yes, man in the newspaper, one day I fully intend to be a married atheist. I hope that doesn't completely blow your mind. Oh, and by the way, you, sir, are an idiot.

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