Mirror, mirror

"For there was never yet fair woman/but she made mouths in a glass."

The Fool, Act III, Scene II, Shakespeare's 'King Lear'.

I was first introduced to this quote back in the swamps of high school life. To this day I know King Lear inside and out, and more to the point, it's the reason I love Shakespeare rather than think I should love him.

But my point is that there was never yet any woman but she made mouths in a glass. Or man for that matter. We are all some level trying to capture our own essence via the mirror, and increasingly Facebook profile pictures.

I am guilty of both. As I said, we all are. There is nothing wrong with looking in the mirror or down the lens and trying to see if who we think we are matches with the vision before us.

What worries me, and what worries many people, is that there are people who look in the mirror and point the camera and say to themselves, "I hate you. You're ugly. You are so unattractive no one will ever want you. People must recoil at the sight of you, for you are a disgrace."

It is the self-loathing that frightens me more than anything, mostly because I do not and cannot understand. Maybe I am oddly blessed in my outlook, in that I look in the mirror and go, "Yes, that will do. I am happy with that." I almost never wear make-up and despite general confusion by hairdressers and others about this point, my hair is fine, thank you, and no, I don't want it straightened. I admit that I am probably speaking from an outside perspective on physical insecurities.

But there are lot of people out there fighting to improve body-image, especially that of the teenage female, who many feel are being bombarded by sexualised, negative images and the resultant feelings of inadequacy. They say every woman should be taught to know that she is beautiful.

While I applaud their efforts in trying to redress the issue, I have to ask why 'beauty' is the chosen ideal for self-loathing young women and women in general to aspire to. They use 'beauty' in order to encompass a beautiful spirit as well, of course, but I have always felt that this is a cop out.

I don't feel beautiful, and yet I am more than happy with the way I look, and the mirror holds no terrors for me. Encouraging women, and in fact people in general, to feel that they are representative of an adjective that is stuffed full of physical connotations goes right past the actual problem.

It's not that many people of all ages and sexes don't like their bodies, it's that they don't like themselves. Too much of what is plain truth or good old-fashioned self-esteem is perceived as arrogance or conceit. Too often people feel that they can't express the good feelings that they have about themselves, and then progress to believing that the original feelings were invalid and untrue.

In short, people shouldn't walk around feeling beautiful, they should walk around being themselves, whoever that might be. Rather than looking outwardly for physical validation of themselves, they should look inward for full validation. It's about embracing the good in yourself and understanding the bad. We are as human beings inherently flawed and we should not therefore judge ourselves on our faults, or our looks. Sounds cheesy, but seriously, everyone out there, if you won't be yourself outwardly, then at least try to understand and accept who are inwardly. You will be a much more contented person for it.